Date: 13/03/2006 11:45pm
When this life seems a dead end
‘What’s going on’ you cannot comprehend
When you are blown in a dead wind
Find yourself hanging on a shivering string
When morn seems beginning of dark
And the dusk is a frightful lonely park
Full of people frolicking around
And unwilling you feel the ground
The smooth blades pin you in
And you are wandering within
When even mirror deceives you
And only pain is left in you
When even your shadows are gone
And you are all all alone
Send for me O dear
I’ll come with the heart I bear.
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© Ravikar Anand 'Kabir'. All Rights Reserved.
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9 comments:
I 'll come with the heart I bear,
I 'll come by you i swear,
I 'll come to make u happy again
I 'll come to make you win the game
I'll come to hold ur hands tight
and take ur dark mind
out into the light.
Like the wings help a bird fly,
I 'll help you soar high and high
high and high, in the sky
above the world, two souls would fly.
but ha, lemme tell none but myself
I know this is not of any bitta help.
even if u r worn and tired and dead,
I know u'll call someone else, instead
and I, with my very arms stretched wide
will be jinxed to stand thru out the night.
for i know i can love u to to the best degree,
i can never ever force you to love
none but ME.
---------- Hey Ravi, u wrote really good, but i found it incomplete, at least from my point of view.Thats why i tried to complete it... Maybe our viewpoints are different, or maybe we feel very similar, though differ superficially.
but u know what, ur posts make me think deep, and very few things do so... good work, keep it up.
Dis is another of ur interesting n meaningful poems...........i just become a Fan of ur writing ....... :)
wow..... i njoyed d poem... nice picturisation of depression and melancholy.... n at last the ray of hope ... gr8... makes u feel d power of frndhip n luv. keep writing...
@ alec.... i know u write well but i didnt really know... u write so well.... u gave a new dimension 2 d poem... gr8 wrk...baki k cmnts tere hi blog me daal dungi [;)]
thanks ankz.
@ alec:
Thanks for completeing, but it was purosefully left,as when u explain (I might as well have used similar meaning lines)this further u guide the reader to a conclusion, and leave him with none but one way, I believed here to give the reader his/her own imagery as you had yours.One more thing that my have skipped your notice is that the age of the girl increases as trhe poem reaches its end and so the pain at the end is not only mental but also physical in nature
Thanks again for time you aall spent reading my crap and even commenting on it too.
a poem is nvr complete in itself
nor its incomplete
jst coz its a flow of emotions
u cant tie it 2 boundaries
if u feel a poem is complete
this is coz at d particular time
at a particular point
u restrict ur thoughts
once u want 2 think beyond it
u add more lines
more ideas
d same poem read by 10 ppl r perceived in 10 different ways
that may be a consideration, but u cannot keep mending your thoughts, once thought s penned down, it should be left as it is to revent the sacredness of that emotion or belief ,
if you have a different feeling some otherday i personally(all the above infact) that write a new poetry or prose instead
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